Okay la. I have to admit. I am a coward by actually doing this. I do not dare to write in my main blog to escape from people. Yes. EVEN though that main blog hasn't got much attention. Nobody bothers to visit it anymore. YET, if anyone sees what I am feeling i will be too comfortable about it.
Ha. Talk about letting the 100th post be a happy one. I am having a rather pathetic life right now. So much that i don't even dare to write a 100th post for the other one. This is really hypocrtical. I hate that. Sometimes i have to act as if i am happy and all that because if i show the slightest bit of feeling then i will get those sympathy looks or those hush-hush behind my back. Do you even know that is damn irritating? I don't want any sympathy looks. The mouth is yours. You can talk all you want. You can even not bother is i am angry or sad or watever. It's your choice and i don't even care how you will look at me.
Doesn't those dramas you see on TV a little too perfect? Even though they meet will obstacles and stuff, they always got friends to rely on, family to talk to. But me? Once i tell one friend, the person will tell the other. I mean come on. All this talk about a four person grp. Isn't it abit just a big lie? Firstly i don't get trusted enough to know what u are talking about. Then if you people are so close then why do i even join you guy? This is really like a piece of shit. I mean i feel like i am treated like a piece of shit. All this talk about friendship. ALL FUCK SHIT!! I am not feeling anything at all. There isn't the slightest bit of support at all. Come to think of it. I haven't really got those really close friends that can really talk. All i got are a few grps that are like so surface friends. Even though that i hang out with. Do you even know what the hell i am thinking about?
Hold on. People say I am a deep one. But does that even be counted as an excuse to not bother? Sometimes i feel that why do i have to go to the extend of helping someone when what i get in the end is crap. This is FUCK! I always unknowingly become too nice to all the people in this stupid world. Then when i try to not become too nice to protect myself. I get those 'why you so selfish' and those 'like that also cannot help meh' look. The world is so mess up. What the HELL is this?
Hypocritics are the worse beasts in the world. Really. Please don't let me see you at all.. This is save a lot of stupid things that you can do. Ya. Fuck off now.
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